Keep Breathing
by LifeOnTheMoon
Summary: As the First Wizarding War rages around him Sirius Black finds love in a very unexpected place. She's like an addiction and nothing, not even her marriage can stop him from loving her, honestly at a time like this all you can do is keep breathing. Rated M for slightly mature themes.
1. Prologue

_A letter from Sirius Black to James Potter-November 23rd 1978_

Dear Prongs,

She did it. I honestly didn't think se would go through with it. I watched her marry that swine. I saw the bruise on her cheek barely covered by makeup and I wanted to destroy the man who gave it to her. I couldn't though. She would never have forgiven me. She chose this life and I have no right to stop her from living it. I know you didn't want to lend me the cloak but I'm glad you did. It was closure. She's gone forever and I need to accept that.

I'll miss her every second of every day and I know I'll never love someone as I loved her. Thank Lily for the book she sent me. It made me feel weirdly better. I connected to those poor kids. But they were fourteen and seventeen and loved each other for about a week. I've loved her for three years.

What makes it even worse is that I know she loves me back. She has to. But I made my choices and she made hers. I understand Juliet's anguish when she says 'My only love sprung from my only hate.' It's fairly ironic though that my only hate is my family and people like them. But you already know all of this. I just need someone to talk to and she isn't there anymore. I feel like she's died. It's better than imagining her with that disgusting bastard. Hosting his stupid dinners, sleeping in his bed and worst of all having his children. Every time I think of him touching her I actually feel ill because she's mine. She's mine to love and protect forever. But she's not anymore and that's what's killing me.

Padfoot

**a/n: So I don't even know what I'm doing. I'm still half way through two stories and I really should be concentrating more but I read an absolutely brilliant SiriusxOC fanfiction and I was just so inspired. It's called the Grass Is Always Greener and it was so good. I literally just dashed off the prologue and the first chapter in like an hour. I really hope you like it and please tell me what you think :) **


	2. To Be A Slytherin

_"The storm is coming, but I don't mind,  
__People are dying, I close my blinds"_

_September 1st 1975_

Dear Diary,

So I don't exactly know what to do with you. I'm actually finding it a little difficult to refer to you as a person because you're just a notebook. A pretty one but just a notebook. Okay so I suppose I should write about my day because that's what people usually do with diaries right? The only reason I'm actually bothering to write stuff in this is because Uncle Circinus gave it to me and I actually like him so I don't really want to lie to him about using it the next time we meet. But then again I'm a Slytherin and that's what we do best isn't it?

Though to tell you the truth I've been feeling less and less like a Slytherin lately. It all started when I caught Rabastan in bed with Alecto at Lucius Malfoy's party. I didn't feel anything. I literally didn't even care and that was when I knew something was wrong. As a Slytherin I should want to rip her disgusting face off, not for sleeping with my betrothed but for hurting my pride. But I couldn't be bothered. If anything I felt a sense of relief at least now I didn't have to marry him. I couldn't wait to tell my parents, to let them know that I could not marry Lestrange.

I walked into my father's study trying to hide my smile and assume a properly mournful expression.

'Father,' I said. 'I'm afraid something has happened. I cannot marry Rabastan.'

He lifted his eyebrows and asked, 'Why,' in a dangerously calm tone.

I quailed. 'He's in some sort of relationship with Alecto Carrow,' I said, feeling brave. 'Surely no one will expect me to-'

'You stupid girl,' he yelled cutting me off. 'Did you really think he was going to be faithful to you forever?'

'We had an understanding,' I said defiantly.

He snorted. 'He's a fifteen year old boy. You cannot expect him to be monogamous.'

'But I've never…' I stuttered.

'Don't talk nonsense,' he said. 'And don't tell anybody about this, we cannot afford to antagonize the Lestranges.'

'Yes father,' I said quietly. I hate it when he makes me feel like this. Like I'm an imbecile. Is it so wrong to not want to marry a stupid shithead who thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread? But he was a Lestrange and that meant something to everyone.

I didn't even feel like getting out of bed in the morning. It took me ages to get ready and my mother was having a panic attack. I love Mum. Dad's a typical misogynistic pureblood but she's special. I'm so glad I look like her and not my father. Even though he constantly humiliates her she never lets him break her spirit. She's always so proud and brave. She's a Malfoy so she has the typical pale blonde hair and grey eyes along with the Malfoy ability to feign complete indifference when she wants to. I've inherited that ability to a certain extent, which is good. You need to be able to act like things don't bother you around here.

Anyway I managed to get to the train station on time and found a compartment as far away from my 'friends' as possible. But then I should've known that wouldn't have kept Rabastan away.

'Lyra Nott,' he said sliding into the compartment. 'I've been trying to get ahold of you.'

'Go away Rabastan,' I said.

'Alecto meant nothing,' he said. 'We're going to be married. You have to get over this.'

'Just go away,' I said, my tone even.

He held my face in his hand. 'When I'm your husband you'll have to treat me with the respect I deserve,' he said coldly. 'It would be shame if something happened to this pretty face of yours.'

I felt a chill run down my spine. I could see the cruelty in his eyes.

'Let go of me,' I said.

He tightened his grip.

'Leave her alone Lestrange,' someone said.

Rabastan let go of my face immediately his face twisted into a mask of rage.

'Mind your own business you disgusting mudblood,' he spat.

'I might be a mudblood but I am also a prefect and you will leave her alone unless you want detention.' I turned around and standing there like some angel of light with her bright red hair surrounding her like a halo was Lily Evans.

Rabastan cursed at her and stalked out of the compartment angrily.

'Are you alright?' she asked.

I nodded. 'Why did you help me?' I asked. I honestly wanted to know. I mean the people I hung out with were the ones who made life as difficult for her as possible. Well not specifically her, but her kind.

'What did you expect me to do?' she asked laughing. 'Walk by here and let you get hurt?'

'I would've done that,' I said.

'Well we're different then aren't we?' she said, her smile disappearing.

'I think we figured that out a while ago,' I muttered.

'Why was he bothering you?' she asked curiously.

'You really do need to mind your own business,' I snapped. She looked hurt. 'I'm sorry,' I said, surprising myself by apologizing. 'He's my fiancé.'

'You're a bit young to be getting married aren't you?' she asked.

'I'm not getting married now,' I said. 'We've just been promised to each other and anyway you wouldn't understand.' Damn what was with her stupid expressive eyes, she looked like I had killed a puppy I wasn't even being that rude.

' But thank you for that,' I added, realising how ungrateful I sounded.

'You're welcome,' she said smiling. She started to leave.

'Wait,' I said, hating how pathetic I sounded.

She smiled broadly, her whole face lighting up. 'I can stay if you want,' she said.

Then I realized how weak this must make me look. I was almost going to ask her for help. I don't ask people for help. I'm Lyra Nott; I've survived the storms of my parents' marriage, the betrothals to everyone from Regulus Black to Thaddeus Avery and finally to Rabastan Lestrange, there was no way I was going to ask perfect Miss Lily Evans for help.

'No it's fine,' I said. 'I'll be fine.'

So this is why dear diary I have been feeling less and less like a Slytherin with every passing hour. I nearly asked a muggleborn for help, I didn't try to recover my lost pride at being cheated on. I avoided Lestrange and all his friends at the feast but he caught my eye half way through and sneered. I could sense his antagonism from halfway across the table. The venom in his gaze made me sure I was going to regret the episode on the train. Is it wrong of me to feel a little scared?

**a/n: So this is basically going to be the format. Diary entries, letters and a couple of normal scenes. It's going to be in two parts first one during Hogwarts (three years) and the second one after Hogwarts (two years). I hope that you like it and please revieww :) **


	3. Scared

_September 4th 1995_

Dear Diary,

Well I knew it would happen at some point didn't I. Rabastan was just waiting and watching. I did everything I could. I stayed in classes as long as possible so as not to be caught in the corridors and I ran to my dormitory every evening making sure I wouldn't be caught in the common room. Despite all of this it only took him three days. I still have the bruises on my arms and an ugly one across my face. But of course I can't complain because my father would kill me and then the Lestranges would kill me.

Cissa said she would talk to Lucius and try to get him to call Rabastan off but Lucius had graduated two years ago and even then I doubted he would have helped. Though he didn't hit Cissa or hurt her in any way he didn't believe in interfering in the ways others dealt with their problems. He was a little like my father. Although they themselves wouldn't do it, they would turn a blind eye. Even when it was their cousin or their daughter.

I nearly cried when I realized how trapped I was. This was my life and I didn't really want to leave it. I could do what Black did and denounce his family, but only an idiot would do something like that. Your family was your strength. The more powerful it was the easier your life would be. Well maybe not easier, but at least you wouldn't end up dead. I couldn't leave my mother ever. I loved her too much. I even loved my father and my brother though Theo really didn't talk to me much anymore. What Black didn't realize was that without his family he no longer had the protection of the Black name. He was fair game for any Death Eater who wanted to kill him. No one would hurt the child of a Nott, well not fatally anyway.

Honestly the waiting for Rabastan's revenge had almost been more painful than the actual act itself. He caught me leaving the library last night. It was late because I had been hoping to avoid him in the common room. He gripped my arm tightly.

'Did you really think you could run from me?' he sneered.

I kept my mouth shut praying to Merlin he would be finished fast. He twisted my arm painfully.

'Answer me you stupid bitch,' he said.

'I was under the impression that was a rhetorical question,' I said icily, trying to maintain my composure.

He slapped my across the face. 'Don't talk to me like that,' he said quietly. 'You might as well accept that I am going to be a permanent part of your life and start treating me with respect.'

'Yes sir,' I said mockingly. He grabbed my arm and twisted it again and I'm ashamed to say that I screamed. His hand immediately covered my mouth and was tempted to bite it.

'Don't even think about it,' he said reading my mind. He let go of my arm and pressed his lips roughly against mine. I pulled away and ran as fast as I could to the common room and up to my dorm.

Cissa was sitting on her bed reading a letter.

'Lucius really is wonderful,' she sighed. They really loved each other and even though Lucius Malfoy was pretty awful he became a better person around Cissa. Not as inclined to torture and kill everything he laid eyes on.

She saw my face and immediately came over to give me a hug. 'I'm so sorry Ly,' she said. 'But you did see this coming.'

What surprised me the most though was that today after Transfigurations Lily Evans broke away from her large group of friends and asked me if I was okay. That threw me a little so I just snapped at her and told her to get out of my life. I don't get her. Why does she keep trying to help me? What I got even less was when she didn't walk away like I had expected her to. She put her hand on my arm and I flinched. I was still a little sore from yesterday.

'I'm not going to hurt you,' she said slowly, like I was some sort of injured animal.

'Why do you care?' I asked.

'Because it's not right. I know he did this to you. Don't even try to lie to me. You have to report him. McGonagall will make sure he doesn't touch you ever again.

I was oddly touched by her perseverance. 'It's not that simple,' I said. To my horror I realized that I was almost in tears. I couldn't break down in front of Lily Evans.

'Then explain it to me,' she said.

'It's a long story and I think your friends are calling you,' I said.

'Fine but you're sitting with me at dinner today and telling me what happened,' she said.

'It can't,' I said horrified. 'You're a Gryffindor and a…'

'A what?' she asked, her voice hardening. I saw Alecto watching our exchange.

'They would kill me if they saw me with you,' I said, choking back a sob. 'If you want to help please just stay away.'

She looked oddly understanding. 'If you need someone to talk to I'm there,' she said kindly. 'And there are places those arseholes don't know about.'

'Thank you,' I said really meaning it. Somehow she had made it seem not so bad, even though nothing had really changed. It was nice having someone who wanted to help even if she couldn't. Cissa was my best friend but even she couldn't give me the comfort this girl gave me just by saying a few words.

'Talking to the snake are we Lily?' I heard someone sneer. I saw Black with his friends Potter and Lupin flanking him. 'You really do like those slimy bastards don't you? First Snivellus and now her. Is she your new charity case?' he asked.

I realized that he was right. That was all I was to Lily Evans, a charity case. I ran away as fast as I could but not before I heard Evans yelling at Black for being such an insensitive bastard.

I hate myself for wanting to escape this much and knowing that I never can. I want to be friends with Lily Evans, to laugh and smile with her, with only the OWLs to worry about. I hate the fact that for the rest of my life I'm going to be at the beck and call of Rabastan Lestrange or someone like him. I want to be free, to make my own decisions. But I'm scared. I know what they do to bloodtraitors in the real world. They torture and kill them.

**a/n: I'm sorry it's a rather heavy chapter, but it gets better I promise. Yes Sirius is an ass but he gets better too. Tell me what you think :) **


	4. Help

Sirius-Normal  
**James-Bold  
**_Remus-__Italicized_

Notes during Charms-September 6th 1975

I'm not apologizing to a snake Prongs.

**Please, Lily was really cut up about what you said. **

I'm not apologizing just so you can win brownie points with Evans.

**Come on Padfoot. And you have to admit you were a little out of line. All Lily did was talk to her. It's not the same as Lily talking to Snivelly. And she'll be really happy. She might even talk to me without insulting me. **

I still don't get how me apologizing is going to help you.

**If you apologize I can get Moony or Wormtail to subtly drop hints that it was me who made you do it. She'll think I'm a nice bloke and go on a date with me. **

Oh how I wish I lived in your world Prongs. That is the stupidest thing I've heard in a while. Lily is not going to fall into your arms just because I apologize to a snake. She might if you make nice with Snivellus though.

**Don't even joke about that. Snivellus is a little shit who has terrible hygiene. The chick you where horrifically rude to is actually kind of fit. **

She looks like a typical pureblood supremacist.

**In case you haven't noticed you and me do sort of look like purebloods too. Doesn't mean we want to slaughter muggleborns. **

No all you want to do is get into one specific muggleborn's pants.

**And my chances will increase immensely if you apologize to the girl. **

I wouldn't hold my breath. Evans has basically wanted to have nothing to do with you since you pulled Snivelly's pants off in front of everyone in our first year.

**Shut up. **

_Will you two stop passing notes? Flitwick's looking. _

Relax Mooney. Flitwick loves us. This class is easy.

**Not so easy for Pete though, he got a P. **

Well Petey never was the brightest.

_Don't be rude Sirius. _

**Mooney tell Padfoot he has to apologize to that girl. **

_James is right Pads. That was pretty mean. _

James just wants me to apologize 'cause he wants Lily Evans to think he's a good person.

**Oi I am a good person. **

Yeah we know that Prongs, but she thinks you're an arrogant toerag.

_Lily doesn't actually hate you. She just thinks you're a little full of yourself. _

**How do you know that? You don't talk to Lily. **

_Yes I do, we're both prefects. She's nice. _

**Yes I know she's nice. Couldn't you put in a good word for me? Oh tell her I got Sirius to apologize. **

_Fine but it's not going to change anything. _

Told you Prongs. It isn't going to work.

_Still have to say sorry to the Slytherin girl Pads. _

Ugh Fine.

* * *

_September 6th 1975_

Dear Diary,

So that was weird. I think I just had a half civil conversation with Black. I was walking out of Charms and he apologized. Yes Sirius Black apologized. I didn't know what to say so I just stood there looking rather stupid. And literally just to stop the silence from being so awkward he started talking to me and naturally commenting on the first thing he could see. Which was my face.

'Merlin,' he said. 'It looks like someone went at you with a beaters bat.'

I flinched.

'Wait that was a joke,' he said. 'Did someone actually attack you?'

'Not with a beaters bat,' I said finally managing to speak.

'Was it some poor muggleborn you had been torturing who finally got their own back?' he asked.

'Fuck off,' I hissed.

As I was leaving I heard James Potter saying, 'That had to be one of the worst apologies I have ever heard. Go do it properly. Come on Evan's is watching.'

Oh now I knew why he apologized. James Potter wanted to impress Lily Evans, though I must admit I thought his logic a little warped.

'Wait' Black said following me. 'I really am sorry, that was a stupid thing to say.'

'It's fine now go away,' I realized to my horror that the tears I had desperately tried not to shed for the last couple of days were pouring down my cheeks.

'Are you crying?' Black asked hesitantly. 'I'm really sorry I swear I didn't mean to make you cry.'

'You didn't make me cry Black. I hear worse thing from my father at dinner,' I said, trying to sound as nasty as possible but really I just sounded miserable.

'Okay so what's wrong?' he asked.

'Why do you people care?' I asked.

'You know what snake, I really don't. You seem upset so I was just trying to help. I'm sure whatever you're going through can't be that bad' he said dismissively.

'Fine do you want to know what's wrong?' I asked, wanting to hit him really hard. 'I have a father pressuring me into marrying someone and a crazy fiancé who thinks beating me up is a good way to keep me in line. So yeah it isn't that bad.' I added sarcastically.

I ran away as fast as possible.

'I'm sorry,' he yelled. I hate Sirius Black.

* * *

_Note from Sirius Black to Lily Evans- September 6th 1975_

So I apologized to the snake and she started crying. I swear it wasn't my fault she just burst into tears. Okay so maybe it was little bit my fault. But Merlin she is really messed up. Did you know that she was getting married and the bloke beats her up? I usually never sympathize with disgusting Slytherins but she seems to be in a fair bit of trouble. Do you think we could help her out?

_Note from Lily Evans to Sirius Black- September 6th 1975_

One, you have to stop calling her a snake and two, not all Slytherins are disgusting. Three, I refuse to believe that you actually want to help another human being. But if you really do it's sort of admirable. Yes I did know all of this; I caught Rabastan in the train and humiliated him a bit. I think that's why she has the new bruises. I think she sort of trusts me but it's difficult to tell. She doesn't really show you what she's feeling. She's seems nice actually, if a little defensive. I'd like to help her.

**a/n: Hope you like this chapter :) Please review I really want to know what you think**


	5. Friends

_September 8th 1975_

Dear Diary,

Lily Evans is really persistent. I mean really why does she care so much? And she seems to have recruited Sirius Black. They actually cornered me after dinner. Thankfully they made sure that there were no Slytherins around. Since when have I been this scared of my own house? It's actually bordering on the ridiculous. I tried to avoid them but Black caught hold of arm.

'We just want to help,' he said. 'I promise I don't want to hurt you.'

I let out a cry of pain because even though it had been three days my arm still hurt.

'What's wrong?' Lily asked worriedly.

Black loosened his grip on my arm and on some sort of hunch gently pushed the sleeve of my robe up. Lily gasped.

'I thought the one on your face was bad,' he said. 'It looks like someone's tried to pull it off.'

I pulled my arm away.

'I'm so sorry,' he said sincerely. 'I didn't know it was this bad.'

'Not your fault,' I said.

'So why do you have to marry him anyway?' he asked.

I sighed. I figured I might as well explain it to them. Might get them off my back.

'I have to marry him because… well I just have to. Everyone has arranged marriages. My mum had an arranged marriage. Cissa's engaged to Lucius. It's just the way things work. And you should know this,' I said pointing to Sirius.

'I'm not going to lie I sort of just blank out when my mum starts talking,' he said with a smile.

'But that's barbaric,' Lily said in horror. 'How can they make you marry someone?'

'It's how it works,' I said.

'Why don't you tell your dad? I'm pretty sure he won't make you marry him if he's hurting you,' Lily said.

I laughed rather bitterly. 'He's a Lestrange. My dad practically died of happiness when he agreed to marry me. Especially after your brother broke our engagement off,' I said.

'You were going to marry Regulus?' Sirius asked, his face crinkling with distaste.

'Yeah.'

'That is weird,' he said. 'I hate to say this but you actually might have been better off with him. At least Regulus doesn't hurt anyone. He's a coward.'

'I'm going to go to bed now,' I said.

'G'night. If you ever want to talk, we're there okay?' Lily said.

As I walked to my common room I realized with a start that I might actually have friends who weren't in Slytherin.

'So Evans I have been instructed to tell you that it was James who made me apologize,' I heard Black say as they walked away.

'I'm not going out with him,' she said firmly.

I smiled. I liked having friends.

'There you are,' Cissa said when I got back to the dorm. 'I was worried.'

'Cissa why do we hate muggleborns so much?' I asked.

'It's because they don't deserve their magic,' she said immediately. 'Magic belongs to us, not the muggles.'

'But how does them having magic affect us at all?' I asked.

'Why are you asking all these questions?' she asked suspiciously.

'Because it seems wrong to hate someone because their parents aren't magic,' I said.

'Muggleborns aren't equal to us,' she said slowly, like she was explaining something to a very small child.

'But why?' I asked.

'They just aren't,' she snapped. 'What has gotten into you lately?' she asked.

'I just don't like my life,' I admitted.

'What is wrong with your life?' she asked. 'You have a nice family, friends who care about you and a fiancé from a good family. What more could you want?'

'This is not my idea of a perfect life,' I said angrily. 'And when you say friends who care about me I presume you mean yourself right?'

'I do care about you Ly. You just need to stop complaining. Rabastan isn't perfect but if you keep your head down and stop associating with muggleborns you could have a pretty good life. All you have to do is give in. Just surrender to the inevitable and you will be fine,' she said.

The slightly happy feeling in my stomach because of Lily Evans and Sirius Black disappeared.

'What if I don't want to surrender?' I asked.

'Then you're just going to tire yourself out fighting,' she said sadly.

'I don't love him at all,' I said.

'Do you think I loved Lucius at first?' she asked. 'You can grow to love someone.'

'He hit me Cissa,' I said. 'I don't think I can ever grow to love something as loathsome as him.'

'Then you're going to spend the rest of your life miserable,' she said.

* * *

_In the Gryffindor common room_

What were you and Lily doing?' James asked Sirius suspiciously.

Sirius laughed. 'Promise you nothing's going on with me and Evans,' he said. 'But really if it were, would you blame her for preferring me?'

'Shut it Padfoot,' James said, knocking him on the head. 'But really what were you doing?'

Sirius looked a little uncomfortable. 'I don't know if I can tell you,' he said. 'I mean I really want to, but it's not exactly mine to tell.'

James looked at him dumbfounded. 'You're keeping secrets from me?' he asked slowly.

'Sorry Prongs,' he said. 'I can't. Why don't you ask Evans?'

'Fine,' he said. 'I will.'

He walked over to Lily. 'Can you please tell me what secret mission you and Sirius were on?' he asked annoyed.

Lily looked a little thrown by his tone. She was more used to a hey Evans do you want to go out with me one.

'I'm sorry,' she said her mouth set in a firm line. 'I can't.'

'At least I told her that you made me apologize,' Sirius yelled from the couch.

James glared at both of them. 'I don't like this,' he said.

'I'm sorry,' Lily mouthed to Sirius.

Sirius just shook his head and smiled at her signaling that it was okay.

None of this was missed by Remus who looked at them oddly. Whatever they were doing he mused, probably wouldn't end well.

**a/n: So this was a weird sort of filler. I'll have a better one up in a bit. Please please revieww. I really want to know what you think. **


	6. Detention

_September 15th 1975_

Dear Diary,

I managed to avoid Black and Lily for the last couple of days but he got me after Transfiguration. I think it's become some sort of game to him because he passed by me and slipped a note into my hand, which said;

_Don't let the Slytherins see this. Do whatever you have to do to prevent its discovery. Burn it eat it anything. Come to the portrait of Heda the Horrible. You've been avoiding us and we want to talk to you._

I mean isn't that a tad bit over the top? But then again he is Sirius Black, the one who thought it was a good idea to turn all the Slytherins Quidditch robes pink.

'Now why have you been avoiding us?' he asked. He whispered something to the portrait and after glaring at us she opened up and let us in.

'I have not been avoiding you,' I said.

'Oh yes you have,' he said. We were standing in an abandoned passageway and I was getting late for lunch.

'I'm hungry,' I said. 'Can I leave?'

He growled. 'Will you stop running away?'

'You don't get it,' I said. 'You escaped early.'

'Then explain in to me,' he said.

'I'm scared,' I said. Oh my Merlin why did I admit to him of all people that I was scared?

'Scared?' he asked. 'Of what?'

'Of everything,' I said. 'I'm scared of being a bloodtraitor. I'm scared that I'll have to face the world alone. I'm scared that someone will kill me if I make mistakes.'

'You aren't alone,' he said. 'You have us.'

I snorted. 'You've known me for two weeks and be perfectly honest, did you even know my name before that?'

'I know, but there's something about you Lyra Nott. You're a fighter,' he said.

I was reminded so forcibly of what Narcissa said I nearly broke down.

'Well fighters get hurt don't they?' I said. 'Maybe it's easier to surrender.'

'Never stop fighting,' he said. 'You'll feel terrible about yourself.'

'But I won't end up with broken bones,' I said. Merlin why were my eyes watering? I swear I'm usually not like this. Then he did something completely unexpected. He pulled me into a hug.

When I broke away from him I looked at his face and literally asked the first question that popped into my head.

'Why are you such an arse?' I asked.

He looked at me blankly. Damn I'm rude.

'What I mean is why do you act liked such an idiot around most people when you're actually really erm… well nice,' I asked.

Thankfully he started laughing. 'You're weird you know that right?'

'Yeah, but you're my friend, which makes you weird too,' I said. Wait did I just call Sirius Black my friend? It's all so confusing.

'Hey I've known I was weird for a long time,' he said. 'And speaking of weird there are a couple of people you should meet.'

'I don't want to meet the rest of your little group Black,' I said firmly.

'You'll like them,' he said. 'We're the Marauders.'

I burst out laughing. 'Marauders? Really Black?'

'What?' he said defensively. 'It's cool.'

'Have you pillaged any castles recently?' I asked. 'Maybe carried out a few raids on the next village.'

'Oh ha ha very funny,' he said, grumpily. 'So do you want to meet them or not?'

'Not yet,' I said. 'Honestly the fact that I seem to be friends with you and Lily is confusing me a little.'

'Now why would you confused Nott?' he asked, grinning. 'Most girls would cut their right arm off to be friends with me.'

'Well aren't you modest,' I said, laughing at him. This was the most I had laughed in weeks.

* * *

Sirius-Normal  
**James-Bold**  
_Lupin-Italicized_

Notes during Transfiguration- September 19th 1975

**Are you going to tell me where you have been sneaking off to for the past couple of days?**

If I haven't told you for the last four days what makes you think I would tell you in the middle of a Transfiguration class?

**Come on Pads tell me. **

Told you not mine to tell.

**Is it a bird? **

Sorry Prongs.

_Are you two mental? McGonagall can practically see through walls, she will kill you. _

**Not me. I'm brilliant. **

_Your modestly never fails to astound me Prongs. _

**Tell Pads to tell me what's going on. **

_Let him be James. _

**But Mooney. **

Fine fine. If you want to know so bad, I'll tell you. Yes it is a girl but no I don't want to do anything with her. We're just friends and she's going through some stuff right now.

**See was that so difficult? You could've just told me that from the start. Now who is it?**

Come on Prongs don't do this to me.

**Wait is it Evans? **

Don't be ridiculous. Evans is all yours mate.

**I wish. Sometimes I just want to go up to her and hug her because she's so beautiful and incredible but I know she's just going to hex me. **

_Okay you actually have to stop. Really how do you pass any exams if you pass notes in class and fantasize about Lily all day Prongs? _

**I'm just naturally smart. I have been gifted with immense brainpower. **

And people say I'm too full of myself. Y'know Prongsie if we didn't know it was a joke we would actually have the urge to kill you right now.

**What? Can you deny that I am brilliant? **

* * *

_Detention later that day_

'I hate cleaning,' Sirius groaned. Then watched in amazement as Lily Evans walked into the room armed with a piece of cloth.

'You have detention Evans?' James asked incredulously.

'Yeah. Punched Lestrange,' she said.

'Good girl,' Sirius said appreciatively.

'So both Gryffindor prefects have detention,' James said grinning. 'How lovely.'

'Hey I think my detention was entirely undeserved,' Remus said, laughing. 'You lot always get me in trouble.'

'I resent that,' Sirius said, throwing water at him but getting Lily instead.

'Black,' she said annoyed. 'You wet my whole t-shirt.'

'Trust me Evans. The view is a lot better now,' he said lasciviously.

'You disgusting boy,' she said, laughing and dumped a whole bucket of water on him.

James dumped a bucket of water on him too.

'Oh thank you for defending my honour,' she said. Oh crap did she really just flirt with Potter?

'Oh Prongs Prongs Prongs,' Sirius said mock sighing. And threw Remus's bucket of water on James. Ten minutes later it had deteriorated into a full-blown water fight. They didn't even bother filling buckets anymore just shot water out of the ends of their wands.

'What do you think you are doing?' they heard from the door and cringed.

'Sorry Professor,' Lily said guiltily.

'Twenty points from Gryffindor,' McGonagall said icily. 'And I must say I expected better from you and Mr. Lupin. You are prefects and must uphold rules.'

The boys burst into laughter the minute she left.

'Did you see her face?' James said.

'Are all your detentions this much fun?' Lily asked smiling.

'Pretty much,' Sirius said shrugging.

'That would explain why you always seem to have so many,' she said.

'So Evans,' James asked. Will you-'

'No,' Lily said.

James's face fell. They cleaned up and walked to their common room in silence.

Why did James always have to make it so awkward? Lily thought angrily. She'd been having fun before he decided to ask her out again. Honestly he'd asked her out so many times she didn't even know if he was being serious anymore. Haha Sirius. She mentally hit herself on the head. She had spent an hour with them and was already making Sirius puns in her head. Peter was waiting for them.

'Why are you all wet?' he asked as they walked into the common room.

'We had a water fight in detention,' Sirius explained.

Peter's face fell. 'Why do I always miss the fun detentions,' he muttered. 'I was there when we had to clean Flobberworm mucus off the sides of the dungeons.'

Sorry Petey,' Sirius said, lazily. 'Well I have to leave.'

He went up to change his clothes and came back down wearing bunny ears and a bright red nose.

'Think this'll cheer her up?' he asked Lily.

'You can't go see her now,' Lily said. 'It's eleven o'clock.'

'Wait Evans knows who you've been sneaking out to see?' James asked.

'Well she sort of introduced us,' Sirius said uneasily.

'You played matchmaker? For Sirius?' Remus asked, his eyebrow disappearing into his hair.

'Sirius isn't dating her,' Lily said. 'Are you?' she asked worriedly.

'No I don't really think she's up for something like that right now,' Sirius said.

'She isn't,' Lily said. 'Don't mess with her Black. She's got enough problems as it is.'

**a/n: So I hope you liked it. Please please please review. I feel so lame begging for reviews but then I am pretty lame so it's all okay. **


	7. Revelations

_September 20th 1975_

Dear Diary,

Do you know who accosted me in the library yesterday? Sirius Black that's who. I mean how did he even know where I was? I could've been anywhere, in my dorm, in the kitchens, in the North Tower. Anywhere. How does he do this? And di you know what he was wearing? Bunny ears. Yes he was wearing white fluffy bunny ears. I mean all I had said was that I had had a pretty bad day and he comes into the library wearing bunny ears and a red nose.

'Missed me?' he asked, grinning.

'I saw you exactly three hours ago Black,' I pointed out.

'Yes but you couldn't talk to me,' he pouted. 'And you don't seem suitably impressed by my get up so I'm dreadfully hurt Ly.'

'Oh Black,' I said unable to control my laughter.

'That's more like it,' he said proudly. 'Now do you want to get a midnight snack? Because I have spent the last hour cleaning an abandoned classroom and I'm starving.'

He tucked his arm into mine and I marveled again at how comfortable being around him was.

'We had detention today,' he said. 'For passing notes. Really McGonagall gets stricter by the second.'

'What did she make you do?' I asked.

'Clean. We snuck a water fight in there though. Evans joined us,' he said.

'Lily was in detention?' I asked, not trying to keep the disbelief out of my voice.

'I was surprised too,' he said, his mouth quirked up at the sides.

He continued telling me about the water fight which he insisted he instigated. We got to the kitchens and he tickled the pear. I like house elves. For the first eleven years of my life they were the ones who talked to me the most. I sat on the kitchen counter while Black ordered vast amounts of food.

'Black,' I said tentatively, cutting off his tirade against marmite. 'I've been thinking about it and I think I would like to meet your friends.' Honestly I wasn't really quite ready to, but Lily had told me a couple of days ago that Sirius sneaking off was causing a little friction. It had actually taken me three days to pluck up the courage to ask him. I didn't want anything to change.

In a weird way though it was worth it. Sirius's face lit up like the sun. I swear to Merlin, it was practically glowing. I was reminded again of how incredibly attractive he was.

'Really?' he asked. 'You'd like them Ly. They're some of the best people you could ever meet.'

He stuffed his face with éclairs and I picked at some treacle tart.

'Remus is definitely the easiest to get on with,' he said. 'Everyone likes Remus. Even Evans can stand to be in the same room as him. You'd like Peter too. He's quiet but he's fun.'

He paused to shove half a piece of cake in his mouth before he continued.

'Then there's James,' he said. His face softened. 'He's one of the most loyal and trustworthy blokes you will ever meet. He's my best friend.'

'I'm nervous,' I admitted.

'Why?' he asked. 'Do you really think any of us are going to give you a rough time? Honestly out of the lot, I'm probably the one who'd bother you the most.'

'I'm scared because well they all seem incredible and I'm just sort of a charity case,' I said.

Black groaned. 'Will you please stop saying that?' He said. 'I was an idiot and I'm sorry, I really am.'

'Maybe this isn't such a good idea,' I said. 'I mean I am a bit of a lost cause so what's the point in trying to make friends. Maybe it's better if we stop being friends, then you can go back to not lying to your old ones and-'

I quailed at Sirius's look of outrage. 'Do you really think I would be here if I didn't want to?' he asked. 'This is not some sort of misguided attempt at charity on my behalf. I actually like being around you. And as for being a lost cause don't be ridiculous,' he scoffed. 'Even though Evans has a stick up her arse she isn't stupid. She wouldn't bother with a lost cause.'

I felt oddly comforted even though his words hadn't exactly been gentle.

'You are going to meet my friends and you are going to like them,' he said confidently.

Well it looks like I had a date with the Marauders.

As I walked back to my common room I heard giggling.

'Sev,' someone said. 'That's terrible.'

'Can't say he didn't deserve it,' said another deeper male voice.

'Oh well I guess you're right,' the girl said. I strained my ears. I realized to my surprise that Sev must be Severus. I laughed to myself. So the slimy little git had gotten himself a girlfriend. Must say I was impressed.

But then I heard the girl say, 'I have to get back; it's way after curfew. The Fat Lady might not let me in.' And I realized to my horror that it was Lily Evans.

'I miss you Lily,' Snape said.

'I miss you too but if you would just talk to me when other people were around we wouldn't have this problem would we?' she said.

Snape sighed. 'You know I can't Lils, they would kill me.'

'What's the problem, most of them know we're friends anyway right?' she asked. I willed my feet to move. I really shouldn't be listening to any of this. But my inner Slytherin kicked in and I stayed. Listening to an extremely private conversation.

'Well not really,' he said uncomfortably. 'I mean they knew we were friends. They aren't really comfortable with…'

'Mudbloods,' Lily said flatly. 'Yeah I've heard that before.'

I cringed. I was one of the people who had told her that.

'All you Slytherins can't look past your own noses and realize that none of this crap matters,' she said angrily and stalked off. She thankfully didn't see me, probably blinded by her rage.

I heard Snape going off in the other direction and after making sure he was a fair distance away, I continued on to the common room. My mind took a while to digest the facts. Was Lily dating Snape? I couldn't imagine that. He didn't strike me as her type. He was just so greasy. I suppose if he cut his hair, bought a bottle of shampoo and maybe stopped hunching so much, he could be passable. But when Lily had someone like Potter throwing himself at her I really didn't see how Snape stood a chance. Maybe they were just friends? That seemed more likely. I mean Lily liked to help people right? Maybe Snape needed some sort of help. I remembered something Black had said the first time we actually interacted. He said something about Snivellus being Lily's charity case. They called Snape Snivellus right? I needed to ask Lily about it tomorrow.

**a/n: So I might not update this story as frequently since I'm finally on holiday and am going to be a litte busy. And 'cause I'm also writing the other two stories and I feel like I should try to finish at least one properly. If I get a couple more reviews I might update quicker though because reviews really do inspire me :) **


	8. The Marauders

_September 22nd 1975_

Dear Diary,

I barely saw Lily the next day. She gave me an absent-minded smile when she saw me but didn't try to talk. Black on the other hand was so excited he nearly broke our no-talking-when-around-other-people rule. I could feel him practically bouncing. I tried not to laugh when he nearly melted his cauldron. I shot him a quick grin and went back to pounding the Valerian sprigs I needed.

'Oh Lyra,' he practically sang at the end of the day. 'Come on now. It's time.'

'Fine,' I said. He dragged me up to the seventh floor.

'This is going to be awesome,' he said grinning. I found myself infected by his happy mood.

'What are we doing here?' I asked.

'Just wait and see,' he said. He walked past the same spot three times and suddenly a door appeared.

'How do you know all this stuff I asked,' impressed.

'We're the Marauders,' he said, like it explained everything.

We walked through the door and came into a comfortable room with a bunch of beanbags and chairs. Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew occupied three. They stared at me not even trying to hide their surprise.

'So um this is Lyra Nott,' Black said. 'She's my friend.'

I saw Lupin's eyes twinkling with mirth and I realized that they might not be so bad after all.

'So you were ditching us for a bird,' Potter said teasingly. Wait where was the judgment, the horror that one of their best friends was hanging out with a Slytherin?

'And not just any bird,' Pettigrew said, grinning. 'The bird you were an absolute arse to.'

Black shot Pettigrew a look.

'I mean what do you see in him?' Potter asked laughing.

'Oh we're not…' I stuttered. 'We're just friends.'

James snorted. 'Padfoot's never been the just friends type.'

'Shut up,' Sirius mumbled.

'Don't bother them,' Lupin admonished quietly. 'You can sit here Lyra.' He pulled up a beanbag. I smiled at him. I could see what Black meant when he said that everyone liked Lupin.

Potter pulled vast quantities of butterbeer out of his bag. He opened one and offered it to me.

'So um, you're friends with Evans right?' he asked.

'Sort of,' I said, knowing exactly where this was heading.

'Does she ever talk about me or anything?' he asked. I winced; most of what Lily had said wasn't very complimentary.

'No not really,' I lied. He looked disappointed.

'Oh okay. So how did you and him become friends? I mean he caught us when we were young and innocent and didn't know any better. But you look smart,' he said playfully.

'Oi you know your life would be horrendously boring without me right?' Sirius said. He caught Potter in a headlock and they wrestled.

'Don't mind them,' Lupin said rolling his eyes. 'So I heard you're a brilliant chess player.'

'How do you know that?' I asked surprised.

'I listen,' he said. 'Lily does talk about you a fair bit. We have rounds together.'

Lupin was very easy to talk to. He knew how to make a person comfortable. He asked me about my family and sensing my father wasn't exactly my favourite topic of conversation steered clear of him. Before I knew it I was telling him about my mother and just random stuff that we did together. And he listened. Black was looking extremely proud of himself.

He had started arguing with Potter about which Quidditch team was better Pride of Portree or Appleby Arrows.

'Arrows are definitely better,' I said. 'Lynch has to be the best Quidditch player in the league.'

James looked at me with newfound respect. 'You watch Quidditch?' he asked.

'Used to play a bit too,' I said. I like Quidditch. One of the only slightly happy memories I have of my family is when Dad took us all to an Arrows match when I was eight.

'What happened?' he asked.

'I screwed my wrist,' I said. 'I broke it and the Healer didn't set it properly before fixing it so I can't really block any goals without it hurting like a bitch.'

'Wait a second,' he said. 'Were you on the team in our third year?'

'Yeah,' I said. 'Why?'

'Nothing you just look a little different,' he said. 'It's a shame you can't play though. You were the only reason they nearly won.'

'I thought you would be happy about that then,' I said.

'Well yeah, but it's still a shame. You had talent,' he said shrugging. And this was the boy Lily kept rejecting? She needed her head checked.

'And it's not like you could've won anyway,' he said. 'Our team is just too good. We would still have flattened you, even if you had been fit. Going to flatten you this year too.'

Ah yes now I saw her point of view.

'Really Potter?' I asked with a laugh. 'Are you ready to put your money where your mouth is?'

'You're on,' he said grinning. I could practically feel Black's happiness.

'Ten galleons that Slytherin wins the cup this year,' I said.

'Please,' James snorted. 'You don't have a hope.'

'Let's see,' I said. So Black's friends weren't that awful.

'I didn't know you liked Quidditch,' Sirius said.

'There's a lot you don't know about me Black,' I said, grinning. Wait was I sort of flirting with Black? I didn't know and honestly I didn't care. I felt happy.

'Damn,' Lupin said looking at his watch. 'I had to go for rounds about ten minutes ago.'

He picked up his bag and practically ran out the door. 'It was nice meeting you Lyra,' he called as he left.

'Okay, I think we'd better call it a night too,' Potter said. 'Coming Padfoot?'

'I'll drop Ly to her common room,' he said.

Potter raised his eyebrows in surprise. Evidently this was not something Black did often.

'It's fine,' I said quietly. 'I don't need to be dropped to my common room.'

'Don't worry Nott,' he said. 'I'll hide if any pureblood supremacist happens to be around.'

James laughed and left with Pettigrew. Sirius is right, Pettigrew really is very quiet. We walked to the Slytherin common room in silence.

'That was nice,' I said finally. 'I like your friends.'

'I'm glad you had fun,' he said. 'They like you too you know.'

'So you don't really mind that I don't talk to you much when we're around other people right?' I asked, thinking about Lily's conversation with Snape last night.

'I get it,' he said. 'People forget this all the time, but I do come from your world. The one where blood is all-important. Don't like it but I understand why you wouldn't want to give those psychopaths any more reason to want finish you off.'

'Thank you,' I said. 'I'm glad you decided to be horrendously rude to me Sirius Black.'

'I'm glad I did too Lyra Nott,' he said.

We reached my common room he left. I was about to say the password when I heard something that made my blood run cold.

'Well well well,' someone purred. 'Look what we have here.' And then like a ghost Bellatrix Black stepped out of the shadows.

'Hello Black,' I said trying to keep my voice from betraying my abject terror.

'Now what would the beautiful Miss Lyra Nott be doing with my useless cousin?' she asked gently drawing a line down my cheek with her wand.

'That's none of your business,' I snapped.

'Wrong answer,' she said and suddenly it all went black.

**a/n: So I hope you like it. Thanks to vlascoD14 who reviews regularly :) **


	9. Hospital Wing

_22nd September 1975-continued._

So that is why I'm writing this from the Hospital Wing. Bellatrix hit me with some variant of a stunning spell. I was unconscious for twelve hours. Slughorn found me outside the common room and took me to Madame Pomfrey. I was apparently quite lucky because if he hadn't found me when he did there would've been serious damage to my brain. It's scary. Sometimes when I close my eyes I see Bellatrix's face just before she shot the spell at me. The cruelty in her gaze still haunts me.

A couple of people visited me though. Cissa was sitting by my bedside when I woke up and she looked like she had been crying.

'Ly, I'm so sorry,' she said. 'I didn't think he would do something like this.'

'Not Lestrange,' I managed to choke out.

'What?' she asked, surprised.

'Bella,' I said.

'I am going to kill her,' she said angrily. 'As if you didn't have enough to deal with.'

'She hexed me for a reason,' I said, knowing that I had to tell Cissa the truth. 'A fairly twisted reason but one that obviously made sense to her.'

'What was it?' she asked warily.

'She saw Sirius Black drop me to our common room,' I said.

Cissa looked at me in horror. 'But why?' she asked.

'We're friends,' I said.

'Sirius Black is not good news,' Cissa said vehemently. 'He's a bloodtraitor and a troublemaker. Stay away from him Ly.'

'What if I don't care,' I asked.

'You have to,' she said and walked away.

I groaned. My head was throbbing and I was having a really bad day.

Sirius came to see me too. He had a stormy expression on his face.

'I am going to kill that bastard,' he raged angrily.

'It wasn't Lestrange,' I sighed.

'What?' he asked, surprised.

'It was Bellatrix,' I said.

'But why?' he asked.

'Well she is crazy,' I said, trying to blow him off. I am a disgrace to Slytherins. My lie didn't even fool him for a second.

'Tell me why Lyra,' he ordered.

'She saw you dropping me to the common room,' I said.

He looked shattered. 'So this is my fault?' he asked, quietly. 'I am so sorry Ly.'

'You have nothing to apologize for,' I said.

'I like being friends with you,' he said slowly. 'I like your company.'

'I like being friends with you too,' I said, dreading what was coming next.

'Am I being selfish?' he asked. 'I mean you nearly died because of me.'

'Don't be dramatic,' I said. 'I didn't nearly die.'

'Yes you did,' he said. 'How can I continue to put you in danger? It's not right. I'd better leave.'

'Sirius,' I pleaded. 'Don't go.'

'I can't let anyone see me here. If Bellatrix thought being seen with me was enough of a crime to almost kill you what do you think Lestrange is going to do?' he said. 'Bellatrix doesn't even care about you and she still thought it was a good idea to nearly murder you.'

'Bellatrix is going to be my sister-in-law,' I said quietly.

Sirius groaned. 'Perfect, like I didn't worry about you enough as it is.'

'Sirius please don't leave,' I said. 'Being with you and Lily is like an escape. It temporarily takes me away from the absolute mess that is my life. It's what's kept me going these past couple of weeks.'

'Then leave permanently,' he said. 'Run away from it all, like I'm going to.'

'You're leaving your family?' I asked.

'I'm going to try,' he said. 'James always said he had a place for me if things got too bad.'

'I don't have the courage,' I said sadly.

'You do,' he said forcefully. 'I can see it inside you.'

'You know nothing Sirius Black,' I said.

He kissed my forehead and left.

Rabastan came just after lunch.

'Bella told me what happened,' he said. 'Consorting with filth like Black?'

'Sirius Black is twice the man you'll ever be,' I told him.

'Be as that may,' he said sneering. 'Do you think Sirius Black can protect you from the rest of the world the way I can?'

'I don't need protection,' I said, though I did. I couldn't face the world alone and at least Rabastan would ensure I didn't die.

'Yes you do princess,' he said. 'The Dark Lord is the most powerful wizard in the world. You wouldn't last a day as a bloodtraitor.'

'I'm not a bloodtraitor,' I said quietly.

'Guilty by association,' he said.

'Go away Lestrange,' I said.

'I don't think you fully learned your lesson the last time,' he said, his voice oddly calm. 'Maybe you need a little reminder.'

I cringed. He looked at my reaction approvingly. 'Now that's better,' he said.

I'm fairly certain that someone up there had it in for me because that was when Remus Lupin and James Potter decided to walk in.

'Is he bothering you Lyra?' Potter asked.

'No he was just leaving,' I said. Rabastan had an oddly pleased look on his face.

'Oh dear dear,' he said softly. 'What have we here? Friends of yours Lyra?'

'We'll come back later,' Lupin said, quickly.

'No,' I said. 'Stay.' I was already pretty much screwed so it really didn't matter anymore.

Rabastan swept out and I heaved a sigh of relief.

'What's his problem?' James asked.

'He's my fiancé,' I said, embarrassed.

They looked at me with undisguised horror. 'What?' Lupin said.

'He's a raging psychopath Lyra,' James said.

'Do you think I don't know that?' I asked. 'I don't have a choice.'

Sensing I didn't want to talk about it they steered clear of the topic and talked about things like Quidditch. Potter asked if Lily had come to visit. I said that she hadn't. He said he would send her along if he found her. Lupin was extremely quiet. He looked at me with such sadness.

As they were leaving he looked at me straight in the eyes. 'I know you feel trapped but there is always a way out. You just have to be brave enough to take it.'

I wondered how much Sirius had told him and how much he had guessed.

**a/n: So I hope you liked this chapter and please revieww :) The more people review the faster you get the next chapter. It's just that the more reviews I get the more inspired I get so I write faster. **


	10. Relationships

_October 15th 1975_

Dear Diary,

They kept me in the Hospital Wing for nearly three weeks. Sirius came to visit me every day. James and Remus came by a couple of times too and so did Lily. Really if it wasn't for Remus and Lily I don't think I would've been able to keep up with all my schoolwork. Remus also got a chess set and we played a couple of times. Cissa came too but she still wasn't exactly happy with me.

They let me out a week before the Quidditch match so I'm pretty glad I'll be able to watch it. I was actually really happy. Do you know how boring sitting around in a Hospital Wing with only the extremely nervous Nurse's assistant Poppy Pomfrey to keep you company?

When I got to my common room I felt my heart sink. Sprawled across the sofas were Bellatrix Black and Rabastan Lestrange. Like nearly killing me hadn't been enough.

'Do you know what I heard from dearest Cissy,' she drawled.

'Please do tell me,' I said.

'I heard that you had a couple of visitors. And I also heard that you were rather unwilling to let go of friends that well aren't quite up to the mark,' she said.

Damn, Cissa must've told then about Lily. They both visited me at the same time once. I tried walking past them up to my dormitory.

'Not so fast Nott,' she said. 'My sister actually had the gall to tell us that we had to… what did she say again Rabastan?'

'She said we had to back off,' he sneered.

'You didn't hurt her did you?' I asked. So Cissa had been defending me? I felt a little happier.

'Of course not,' Black said. 'She's my sister and although she's a little misguided she still has a good idea of what's right and what's wrong.'

I felt sick to my stomach when I heard her say that. Bellatrix Black had to be the most disgusting human on the face of the planet. I don't know how she could possibly classify torturing people as right.

'No you see Nott,' Rabastan said. 'The problem isn't poor Narcissa. The problem is you.'

'No Lestrange,' I said. 'The problem is you. I've had enough of your crap.'

'Shut up,' he bellowed losing it so suddenly I was scared. 'Don't talk to me like that you filthy little bloodtraitor.'

'I'm not a bloodtraitor,' I said stubbornly, though honestly I don't even know why I bothered. Was being a bloodtraitor really such a bad thing?

'Not yet,' he said. 'And I'm going to make sure you don't become one even if I have to beat it out of you.'

He raised his hand but then as I cringed and waited for impact he dropped it.

'I don't have the time or the energy to deal with you now,' he said coldly and left. He walked over to Black put his arm around her and both of them walked up to his dormitory together. Is it just me or does all of this seem terribly incestuous? Purebloods I have come to realize are fairly disgusting. Well not all of them but most of them are fairly gross. Anyway that was pretty much my day today. Looking forward to the match. Still have that bet with Potter. Slytherin had better win.

* * *

_Gryffindor boys' dormitory_

'She's out today,' Remus said with a smile.

Sirius was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling.

'I preferred her in the Hospital Wing,' he said. Remus hadn't actually mentioned any names but he knew whom he was referring to.

'You can't keep her locked up forever Sirius,' Remus said. 'I know you worry about Bellatrix hurting her but really Lyra can take care of herself.'

'She nearly died Moony,' Sirius said. 'Scares the crap out of me.'

'Why do you care about her so much?' Remus asked curiously.

'I don't know,' Sirius admitted. 'She's special.'

'Do you like her?' Remus asked rather bluntly.

'I don't,' he said. 'I mean I don't think I do. She needs a friend and that's what I want to be.'

'Wow you sound almost mature,' Remus said grinning.

'I like her,' Sirius said. 'And in case you haven't noticed I'm not exactly the best when it comes to dealing with girls. I like her too much to even want to try anything. And Hestia Jones is a brilliant shag so I don't exactly need a relationship.' He ended with a smirk.

'You are disgusting,' Remus said with a laugh. 'And Jones really? Again? I thought you had given her up.'

'Once you've had Jones it's difficult to give her up,' Sirius said his smirk becoming more pronounced.

'Spare me the details,' Remus said, holding his hands up. 'I think you're a disgusting manwhore Pads.'

'Oh don't act so holier than thou Prefect Lupin,' Sirius said chuckling. 'We all know what happens when we get even a little Firewhiskey into you.'

The rest of the Marauders had been taking the mickey out of him ever since he had gotten that badge.

'Well do you think you might actually want to be in a relationship with someone who you like?' Remus asked.

'Relationships really aren't my cup of tea,' he said. 'You've known me for four years now you would think you would know that.'

'Maybe you just haven't found the right person,' Remus said quietly.

'Stop being such a sap,' Sirius said dismissively. 'I have far more fun than anyone in a relationship. I certainly don't need one.'

**a/n: Sorry for the delay. I'm just done with exams and am sort of celebrating a rather lot. Anyway I hope you liked the chapter. It's sort of a stop gap. The next one might have Quidditch in it which is exciting. Although I'm not brilliant at writing Quidditch I do sort of like doing it so well let's hope for the best. Please revieww :) **


End file.
